I’ve been sitting with this truth lately:
I’m actively choosing people who don’t make me feel like loving me is hard.

That decision might sound simple, but for my nervous system, it’s revolutionary.

For years, I confused love with effort. I stayed in dynamics where my body was constantly scanning for cues—Was I safe? Did I say the wrong thing? Am I too much? Should I tone myself down? My nervous system lived in a state of hypervigilance, always bracing for the next wave of disconnection or criticism.

That’s what trauma does—it trains us to normalize survival-mode relationships. It tells us that feeling on edge is the cost of belonging.

But the truth is: my body deserves better.

When I choose people who show me that loving me isn’t hard, I’m not lowering my standards—I’m raising them. I’m giving my nervous system the gift of ease, consistency, and repair. I’m choosing environments where my body can unclench, my breath can deepen, and my heart can remember what it feels like to be met instead of managed.

This doesn’t mean I expect perfection. Relationships will always bring moments of rupture. But the difference now is I’m choosing people who are capable of repair—people who don’t make me feel like the act of loving me is a burden.

Because when my nervous system feels safe, I feel more like me.

Journal Reflections

If this resonates with you, here are some questions to explore in your own journal:

• When I think about the people I feel most myself around, how does my body respond? What shifts in my breath, posture, or energy?

• Where in my life am I still tolerating dynamics that keep my nervous system on edge?

• What beliefs have I carried about love being “hard” or “earned,” and how might I begin to soften those?

• What does ease in relationship feel like to me—and how can I honor that as a non-negotiable?

Showing love to your nervous system is not selfish. It’s survival. It’s healing. It’s the way we break old cycles and create new ones.

Because the truth is—love that feels possible, reciprocal, and steady isn’t too much to ask for. It’s the very thing you were made for.

✨ If you’re ready to go deeper into this work—whether through 1:1 coaching or my self-paced course Who You Are Meant to Be—I’d love to walk alongside you. Both are designed to help you untangle old conditioning, reconnect with your essence, and learn how to show your nervous system the love it has always deserved.