Dear Beautiful Soul,
I want to talk about magic today. Not the vision board kind. Not the manifestation journal or the new moon ritual or the quiet belief that when the right person finally arrives — really arrives — everything will click into place and you'll be okay.
I mean magic as psychiatrist Phil Stutz defines it. The force that actually changes a life.
Because here's what I haven't been able to stop thinking about since I read his work:
We have been sold false magic our entire lives. And we bought it — because it felt so real.
False magic lives in what Stutz calls the Realm of Illusion. It's the promise that if the right thing happens on the outside — the right person shows up, the right feeling finally lands and stays — then you'll be transformed. Safe. Done.
It's the belief that the thing you're waiting for will do the work that only you can do.
The wellness industry got in on it too. Heal yourself perfectly and the right man will appear. Raise your vibration and the universe will deliver. Do the work — but only enough work that you arrive somewhere comfortable. Certain. Where nothing hard is asked of you anymore.
That's still false magic. It just wears a better outfit.
Stutz says true magic requires three unavoidable things. Three things no amount of manifesting, no perfectly timed relationship, no "right person at the right time" will ever let you bypass: Pain. Uncertainty. Constant work.
Not as punishment. As the actual portal.
You get a superpower when you approach whatever you habitually avoid.
Most of us have built elaborate, loving, beautifully articulated systems for avoiding the very things that would free us.
False magic says: When I finally heal enough, I'll attract someone healthy and it won't hurt like this anymore. True magic says: I am going to stay present with this pain — right now, in this body — instead of soothing it with his attention. That is the work.
False magic says: If I could just feel certain about where I stand, I could relax.True magic says: Uncertainty is not a problem to solve. It is a domain to inhabit.
The magic was never in him. It never was. It's in the small, unglamorous, repeated choice to move toward your life instead of waiting for your life to come get you.
REFLECTION QUESTIONS
- Where have you been waiting for something outside yourself to do internal work for you?
- What is your version of false magic — the thing you're secretly convinced will finally make you okay?
- Which domain do you most avoid: pain, uncertainty, or constant work?
- What is one small, unglamorous thing you could do today that moves you toward your life?
THIS WEEK'S PRACTICE — NAME THE FALSE MAGIC
Once a day, when you notice yourself waiting for something outside to make you feel okay — pause.
Name it out loud. I'm waiting for him to text so I can feel settled.
Ask: what is one small thing I can do — right now — instead?
Do that thing. Walk around the block. Write one sentence. Make one move.
So this is a love letter to your creativity. The part of you that is already moving with the universe — making something out of nothing, choosing action over waiting — even when you can't feel it yet. That is the real magic. And it has always been yours.
With love and deep respect,
Em 💌
P.S. Stutz says the opposite of evil isn't goodness — it's creativity. You are already doing it. Hit reply and tell me: what's your false magic? The one you've held the longest. I read every single one.
Photo by Romain Gal on Unsplash
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