You see the pattern. You’re tired of living it.
I help women understand how they're wired and loosen the patterns that keep pulling them back, drawing on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, mindfulness, feminist theory, somatic practices, Human Design, and a whole kaleidoscope of other lenses.
“She’s helped me really understand my triggers and where some of my patterns come from, which has been huge for both my career growth and my personal life.”
This is for you if:
You've read the books, done the therapy, and your body still reacts before your brain catches up.
You could write the essay yourself on what’s going on. Knowing hasn't been enough.
You ended it months ago, and you still check whether he watched your story.
You can’t go no-contact with your kids’ father, and your body knows it every time he texts.
You’re brilliant at the work you love, and you still apologize before you ask for what it’s worth.
You built something that works, and you still give it away like it’s a favor.
Different person, different boss, different room. Same dynamic.
You give everyone else more grace than you give yourself for still being affected by it.
“Emily creates a space that feels safe, grounded, and non-judgmental. She has a way of asking the right questions that gently challenge you while still making you feel supported.”
Where we start:
Women usually come to me about something specific. Him, the divorce, the relationship they can’t seem to leave, wanting love again. The co-parent who still knows exactly how to get to them, every handoff, every text. Or work: the boss who gets under their skin, the job they’ve outgrown, the work they love that keeps taking more than it gives. Any of these is a good place to start.
Once we’re working together, something bigger tends to surface: what you were taught about being a good woman and how much of it you never chose, the unequal load you carried at home and at work and how normal it was made to feel, who got to hold the power, and the rules you learned along the way: give more, ask less, keep the peace, and call it love, or loyalty. Once you see all of it, you can see where the pull comes from, and whose rules you’ve been following.
The breakup, the boundary you can’t hold, or the burnout brings you in. What you find changes everything after it.
“Working with Em has truly changed my life. She’s helped me see patterns I didn’t even realize were holding me back.”
What we get clear on:
Rebuilding starts with knowing what you’re building. Together we get clear on:
How you’re wired and what you actually need. Your energy, how you make decisions, what drains you, what restores you.
What you were taught about love, work, and giving, and what you actually believe. Most of us inherited a script. We look at yours line by line and keep only what’s true for you.
What you want the next chapter to look like, in your own words. Without the shoulds and without anyone else’s version of a good life.
Your non-negotiables. The things you won’t trade away again, named clearly enough to hold when someone pushes.
Then we work on what keeps pulling you away from all of it.
How we work together:
12 weeks of 1:1 coaching
Before we start: a personalized Human Design guide, a detailed PDF in plain language, so we both know how you're wired.
Weekly sessions: one hour over video. We start from the most recent time the hook fired and slow it down. I'm tracking what your chart says, what your body is doing while you talk, and where the hook is still live underneath what you're saying. Then we practice the new response while it still feels real.
Between sessions: when a hook fires in real life, send me a short hook report by voice memo or text. I respond within 48 hours. You'll also track your hooks on a simple log, so you can watch the catch come earlier.
After every session: a written recap in your own words, one practice built for how you're wired, and resources matched to what came up. My job is making sure you don't lose it by Tuesday.
Why this is worth it:
The real cost of a pattern is time. A second marriage that repeats the first. Staying three years too long. Another boss who makes you smaller, another job where you do the work of two people and ask for nothing. Years inside a system you outgrew, because leaving felt like proof you didn’t care enough.
From the inside, it usually looks like bad luck, or bad picking. You think you keep choosing the wrong men, the wrong bosses, the wrong jobs. What I often see is a script you were handed long before you met any of them, still running. A script about who gets to hold power, who’s allowed to want more, and who keeps the peace. It’s hard to see your own script. It’s much easier for someone outside it.
Twelve weeks won’t give you back the years you’ve already spent. It can keep you from spending the next ones the same way.
Investment:
12-week coaching: $3,000 or 3 monthly payments of $1,050
📅 Book a free intro call
20 minutes on video. No pressure, no pitch.
Not ready yet?
Where You’re Stuck: A Human Design Read: A written read on the one place you’re stuck, seen through your Human Design chart. $55, back to you in 3–5 business days.
Courses: self-paced tools for co-parenting and anxious dating.
💌 Love Letters: my essays on Substack.
Alongside therapy:
Many of my clients have done therapy or are in it now, and this work fits beside it. Therapy is a good place to understand where a pattern comes from and heal what's underneath. Catch the Hook™ is practice for the ninety seconds after it fires: a text from someone you're supposed to be done with, an email from a boss who still runs your nervous system.
Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor, who knows far more about the brain than I do, describes an emotion’s chemical surge as lasting about ninety seconds. Anything longer, we’re keeping it going with our thoughts. That window is where we work.
This is coaching, built on Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy and mindfulness-based practices. It doesn’t diagnose or treat. If something comes up that needs clinical support, I’ll help you find the right referral alongside our work.
FAQ:
Is this just for relationship stuff? No. Ex, boss, parent, job: the hook works the same way. Most people start with one area and find the same pattern everywhere else once they can name it.
How is this different from getting over it? Getting over it assumes time does the work. You can be fully aware of a pattern and still be caught in it, so we work on the mechanism directly.
Do I need to be out of the situation first? No. Most people start mid-breakup, mid-job-search, or still working for the boss who triggers them. The method works wherever you are.
How long does this take? The core program is 12 weeks. You can continue month to month after that.
Do I need to know Human Design, Enneagram, or Astrology? No. Your guide explains everything in plain language, and we use it only where it helps.
Will this help me find love? It might. Most women come to me wanting love, and we start with what you were taught about it: the conditioning, the unequal load you carried, the script you followed without choosing it. Clients often find their next relationship looks different because they do. I can't promise you a partner. I can promise you'll show up as yourself in the next one.
Can't I just ask AI? You can, and it’s great for information. You probably already have plenty of that. But AI is only as good as the questions you bring it, and when you’re hooked, the hook writes the questions. You ask how to get him to understand. I’d ask what you were hoping he’d give you. My job is asking the question you wouldn’t think to ask yourself, and noticing when you start talking your way around something you already know. When the pull hits on a Thursday night, you send it to a person who knows your story.